Must Love Dogs

There's a house around the corner from mine that has a sign on the lawn that says "Not Here" and it's a picture of a dog in full-on poop mode.

If you look online you can find a bazillion variations of this sign for people to place on their lawns to dissuade people from allowing their 4-legged fuzzies of the canine variety from dropping a load on someone else's property.

Stands to reason.

If you don't have a dog, you don't exactly love stepping on dog feces when you are trying to enter your house.

So then tell me why it's OK for people to have 85 outdoor cats who are free to use the entire planet as their personal litter box?

Explain that to me.

I'll wait while you try to think of something....

.... in the meantime, WTF!?

Seriously!

Not only does cat poop smell 10x's worse than a dog's do but their urine has to be in league with the toxicity of uranium. I'd bet a week's salary it even glows in the dark.

This morning I was sitting on my couch waiting for the troops (read: dogs) to finish their breakfast so I could take them out.

While I'm doing that, I hear rustling of the leaves outside the window.

So I look out and there is this big a$$ cat doing the tell-tale "circling" on my front lawn. I watched as this bag of hairballs found an "appropriate" spot (yes, still on my lawn) and copped a squat in my grass.

The entire planet makes a big deal about making sure we pick up after our dogs but a cat? Oh nooooooooooooo they have the run of the place.

Those damn cats killed two of my newly planted plants this summer with just their pee and poop. One cat LITERALLY squatted right on top of one of those plants and pooped dead square in the middle of it.

A few days later it was compost. Totally destroyed -- $$ down the drain.

My neighbors on either side of me have about 8 outdoor cats combined. I'm the lucky b@stard who sits nestled in between them and gets to be their sh!t collectors.

THEN (since we share a yard) one of them had the balls to ask me one year to clean up the dog poop in the yard (which we usually do but sometimes we get behind)... oh but do they feel this huge sense of cleanliness when their cats are throwing a poop party in MY yard/garden and are murdering the plants we spent our precious time and hard earned money planting?

Oh noooooooooooo god forbid.

Can I find a "no cat pooping" sign to put on MY lawn?? Nope.

Because cats are so "independent" and "clean"... yeah right, my a$$. They're "clean" because you are letting them out to be "dirty" over at MY house!

Did you know that female cats are called queens and female dogs are called b!tches?? What dog hating b@stard came up with that sh!t?

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate cats. I don't necessarily LIKE them but I don't hate them. What I do hate is all the laws and rules and b.s. put on dog-owners that cat-owners don't have to comply with.

Like paying for licensing, cleaning of the poop, and leash laws and what not.

Meanwhile a lot of cat owners let their animals run amuck causing all kinds of havoc and destruction of property while we dog owners have to remain silent and compliant to a bunch of dog laws and "responsible ownership" courtesies.

Psh. I'm calling you out cat owners. If your cat doesn't live inside with you full time, then you are an IRRESPONSIBLE CAT OWNER.

If your cat is sh!tting anywhere but the litter box YOU pay for and clean out, then YOU ARE AN IRRESPONSIBLE CAT OWNER.

If your cat is cuddled up next to your front door in the driving rains, heat waves and blizzards, then YOU ARE AN IRRESPONSIBLE CAT OWNER.

If your cat is walking around the neighborhood looking ragged and tattered, then YOU ARE AN IRRESPONSIBLE CAT OWNER.

Now come get your d@mn cat!

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