Birthday weekend recap - Part I - Friday
There's nothing like seeing your uncle a shell of his old self and dying in a hospital bed to put a damper on your birthday spirits.
Jess and I drove up to Troy, NY on Friday to see him in the hospital. When we got there, no one was in the tiny little room with him.... and he was sleeping.
We sat down and soon after Jess nudged me and I turned and saw that he was awake.
His eyes were yellow.
His body thin.
His stomach bloated from the IVs.
I tried to think of something to say to him -- decided to take a humorous approach and told him that this was a really extreme way to get me to visit.
After a moment it registered and I got a laugh out of him.
...sigh...
So he told me that my dad and his girlfriend were in the family lounge.
So we left him to sleep and walked over to the family lounge which had been taken over by my father's side of the family.
...apparently we walked into a family meeting about hospice.
...sigh....
So we quietly piled into the room and listened while they discussed his last days and what would happen in what circumstance.
The fact that his Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) wishes have to be made known or else he will be.
...sigh...
My father wishes me happy birthday.
My cousin's (my uncle's kids) who's mom died 5 years ago of cancer look stunned.
Finally I got to meet his girlfriend (who I thought was his new wife).... she goes out to smoke with us and tells us how her older sister is gay and has been with her wife for 34 years.
She tells me how dysfunctional my family is.
Well, duh. :)
My father's side of the family is notoriously evil to "new wives" ESPECIALLY new wives who aren't actually wives and/or who enter the family under unusual circumstances.
For instance, my step-mother had a long time getting accepted after having stolen my father from my mother (can't say's that upsets me much)...
And now my Uncle Paul's girlfriend coming in so soon after my Aunt Lou's passing...
Just bring on the catty bullsh!t.
I say live and let live and mind your own damn beeswax.
Anyway -- after some time visiting with family, we all finally leave.
One more goodbye to my Uncle Paul.
I'm pretty sure this is the last time I will see him drawing breath.
Labored as it may be.
We got in the car, and drove back to Connecticut and straight to carmax to pick up the car which had the catalytic converter replaced.
They were really great about allowing me to take the loaner so far out of state.... though the loaner they gave me sucked a$$.
It was a 2004(?) Toyota Highlander. It had 88K miles (not that that part bothered me much), no cup holder, the windshield leaked (thankfully it didn't rain after the first day I had it), stained seats and there were mysterious puddles of water in the ashtray and center console.
Meanwhile I saw that before they gave it to me there was a sticker on it for $13K.
It did drive nice though.
Anyway, I tried to tell them what the issues where when I dropped it off but the business office couldn't have been less interested.
Whatever, my car rocks, so whatever....
We got back home -- got ready and headed over to the Brook in Westport to meet some friends for drinks and dancing.
In attendance were: Kat, Tina, Shannon, Kathy, Katie, Maureen and Barbara.
They even brought me presents. I got a $25 Home Depot gift card, a new laser mouse (which I really needed) and a new board game.... oh and a shot of tequila. ;)
The two different DJs must've said happy birthday to me about 10 different times.... then Jess brought out a cake to me and the whole lot sang happy birthday.
It was nice.
We left before closing and headed home to bed.
Which is when my morning finally registered and I started crying my eyes out.... while Jess tried to comfort me (thank you baby).
...and that is how we fell asleep.
Jess and I drove up to Troy, NY on Friday to see him in the hospital. When we got there, no one was in the tiny little room with him.... and he was sleeping.
We sat down and soon after Jess nudged me and I turned and saw that he was awake.
His eyes were yellow.
His body thin.
His stomach bloated from the IVs.
I tried to think of something to say to him -- decided to take a humorous approach and told him that this was a really extreme way to get me to visit.
After a moment it registered and I got a laugh out of him.
...sigh...
So he told me that my dad and his girlfriend were in the family lounge.
So we left him to sleep and walked over to the family lounge which had been taken over by my father's side of the family.
...apparently we walked into a family meeting about hospice.
...sigh....
So we quietly piled into the room and listened while they discussed his last days and what would happen in what circumstance.
The fact that his Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) wishes have to be made known or else he will be.
...sigh...
My father wishes me happy birthday.
My cousin's (my uncle's kids) who's mom died 5 years ago of cancer look stunned.
Finally I got to meet his girlfriend (who I thought was his new wife).... she goes out to smoke with us and tells us how her older sister is gay and has been with her wife for 34 years.
She tells me how dysfunctional my family is.
Well, duh. :)
My father's side of the family is notoriously evil to "new wives" ESPECIALLY new wives who aren't actually wives and/or who enter the family under unusual circumstances.
For instance, my step-mother had a long time getting accepted after having stolen my father from my mother (can't say's that upsets me much)...
And now my Uncle Paul's girlfriend coming in so soon after my Aunt Lou's passing...
Just bring on the catty bullsh!t.
I say live and let live and mind your own damn beeswax.
Anyway -- after some time visiting with family, we all finally leave.
One more goodbye to my Uncle Paul.
I'm pretty sure this is the last time I will see him drawing breath.
Labored as it may be.
We got in the car, and drove back to Connecticut and straight to carmax to pick up the car which had the catalytic converter replaced.
They were really great about allowing me to take the loaner so far out of state.... though the loaner they gave me sucked a$$.
It was a 2004(?) Toyota Highlander. It had 88K miles (not that that part bothered me much), no cup holder, the windshield leaked (thankfully it didn't rain after the first day I had it), stained seats and there were mysterious puddles of water in the ashtray and center console.
Meanwhile I saw that before they gave it to me there was a sticker on it for $13K.
It did drive nice though.
Anyway, I tried to tell them what the issues where when I dropped it off but the business office couldn't have been less interested.
Whatever, my car rocks, so whatever....
We got back home -- got ready and headed over to the Brook in Westport to meet some friends for drinks and dancing.
In attendance were: Kat, Tina, Shannon, Kathy, Katie, Maureen and Barbara.
They even brought me presents. I got a $25 Home Depot gift card, a new laser mouse (which I really needed) and a new board game.... oh and a shot of tequila. ;)
The two different DJs must've said happy birthday to me about 10 different times.... then Jess brought out a cake to me and the whole lot sang happy birthday.
It was nice.
We left before closing and headed home to bed.
Which is when my morning finally registered and I started crying my eyes out.... while Jess tried to comfort me (thank you baby).
...and that is how we fell asleep.
Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow.
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What an emotional roller coaster! At least, you had the happier part last. Hope the rest of the weekend was better.
Hugs,
GG
:(.. I'm sorry babe. Seeing you cry breaks my heart into pieces. I'm glad you were able to have fun at the brook though.
Love you.
I can certainly understand where you're coming from. My father's side of the family (his sisters and mother)couldn't stand my mother. Why? Because she's not Puerto Rican. My mother is mixed:
Filipino/Italian/Irish.
My aunts gave my mother such a hard time. They finally accepted her when my parents divorced.
Happy Birthday!
Sucks that you didn't let me buy you a drink.
I am sorry I can't even ..well..you know ..with grandma...i can't ..i don't know how to or what to...it still has an effect on me...
like..just be strong...i can't ... not easy
Glad you were able to have some fun on your birthday in spite of the circumstances.
My Uncle passed away from the same thing....their liver swelling is one of the causes as to why they look bloated in the stomach area.
My family is known for their dysfunctionality. It's woven into their coat of arms ...a big squiggly line with what looks like bull poop attached.
What an up and down time for you. I'm so sorry about your uncle. Hospice can be a wonderful thing, not only for the patient but for the family, too.
Glad you were able to go out and have a little fun for your birthday. Happy Belated Birthday!