Welp, so far 2008 sucks donkey b@lls...

Thanks to everyone who commented, called, texted, emailed regarding Uncle Paul's passing.

It meant a lot to me.

Sorry I went MIA. But you know how I do.

I disappear when things get too emotionally charged.

Not to mention I was sick as frickin' cat (that's right, CAT, my dogs are perfectly healthy, thank-you-very-much). Darlene!

I left work early on Wednesday, came in late on Thursday and popped into work for 1/2 an hour on Friday because I was just wrecked.

I don't even know how I got home from work on Friday morning... my sinuses were so bad that my vision was blurred.

Once I got there I just got in bed and didn't get back out until Sunday morning. I had an excellent nurse though. :)

Sunday morning I finally dragged my a$$ out of bed -- and that evening we drove up to NY to attend my uncle's wake.

Like I've said before, I don't really know my father's side of the family very well since my parents had gotten divorced when I was 2.

But it was at least good to see everybody that I haven't seen in years.

One thing that I can say for my father's side of the family is that none of them treated Jess like she was a pariah.

They were all warm and inviting and treated her with respect.

That's new for me.

I also found out at the wake that one of my uncles (there are/were 10 uncles + 1 aunt) actually lives in Fairfield with me.

For YEARS apparently.

Who knew??

Of course he's never really been a favorite and is the only uncle who doesn't really have his sh!t together -- but whatever, family's family. :)~

So on Monday my uncle in Fairfield needed a ride (of course) to the funeral so we picked him up and head back to New York.

We arrived at the funeral home and got our funeral signs for our cars and drove up to St. Paul's for the mass.

Ah, Catholic masses.

WARNING: If you are Catholic or even any kind of religion, you may want to skip this part.

It ain't gonna be pretty.

The whole time I was at the step aerobics class funeral mass, I thought what a crock of sh!t this whole thing was.

The priest and then this other random dude singing hymns out of nowhere like it was a scene from West Side Story and all these overly dramatic moments where he stops talking all of a sudden, sits down for a second while we all sit there waiting for him to continue then moving over to the the podium sitting down again then getting back up 30 seconds later to continue speaking from there -- POINTLESS.

What really got my goat (yes. I had a goat... and he took it!) was how he spoke of my uncle as if he even had a clue who he was.

The reason why I know he didn't? Because every time he said his name he looked down to read it first.

Then this guy proceeds to do this big involved routine where he is preparing the Eucharist (thx baby for giving me the proper name)... and is standing there doing all these rituals and "praying" (I say "praying" b/c I was convinced he really was just standing there making out his grocery list or deciding what fetish leather store he was going to take fruity choir dude to after we plopped our uncle in the ground).... and these rituals seemed just as ridiculous to me as any other cult rituals out there.

Insincere and ridiculous.

Motion without a point.

Just blowing smoke up our collective a$$es to convince us that it all will make one bit of a difference to that bag of flesh and bones that once housed a handsome and funny man.

Then the clown guy runs off stage and digs up this statue of Our Lady of Fatima because he remembered that we were Portuguese. He plops her down on the counter - or alter I suppose - and you can see how proud of himself he was. All I thought was what's next, a Barbie styling head?

What the hell? Hang on, I'll go get my Easy Bake and we can make some more of them wafer things and make a party of it....

What also burns me is statements such as: "We do not know why our beloved 'brother' was taken at the young age of 54, but God moves in mysterious ways."

"We cannot question why."

Why the f#ck CAN'T we question why??

Then he tells us that God knows how we feel about losing our uncle because he too lost his son on the cross.

What???

The last time I read that fiction novel The Bible, I'm pretty sure I remember it stating that God sent his son to be pinned up on the cross.

So NO, He doesn't "know how I feel"... I didn't put my uncle in this casket that's now being showered with what could only be marijuana smoke in that cannister you got from the Christmas Tree Shops.

So fine, my family is Catholic and they believe all this hullabaloo -- fine... I can quietly sit back, respect their beliefs and watch the cherade play out before me.... but I have a blog and I know how to use it.

BALDERDASH I say!

....if they really loved my uncle (their 'brother') then send him off to God for free! Why are you charging the family to lay him to rest?

No, what we're paying for is dinner (wafers) and a show.

Just the final way to profit from the collective grief of the people who loved him.

Well, I for one don't buy a second of it.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

If you skipped the last part -- you can resume reading here.

So after the funeral the family went to a local hall and had dinner. I got to talk to all of my aunts and uncles.

My grandmother wasn't present because they didn't tell her that her son died.

Sounds awful, I know, but she has Alzheimer's. She forgets EVERYTHING shortly after she is told.

When Jess and the kids and I went to her house the other day she must've asked us of we wanted coffee 100 times ("no wine though, wine we don't have")....


Which got me to thinking how AWFUL it would be to find out your child died and -- as far as you know -- they weren't even sick.


Or to be struck with that grief over and over and over and over again b/c you have forgotten that he passed away.


It sounds like the stuff of horror movies.


So ultimately, I agreed that she should be spared to the pain.


So after we had dinner, we all passed out our hugs and kisses and phone numbers and emails and swore we'd all keep in touch... then went on our separate ways.


We drove my other uncle home and head home ourselves, exhausted and sad.


I wish I had a picture of Uncle Paul.

We all float down here....(or I'm IT!)

I have a pretty big blog entry in the works, so I'm going to leave you with some easy reading....

HouseOfJero tagged me - I'm IT!

The rules of this meme are:

Link to the person that tagged you.

Post the rules on your blog.

Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.

Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

1) I have a coffee addiction. I drink approximately 4-5 cups a day. I'd drink more if I wasn't too damn lazy to make another pot. I'm on my 3rd cup right now. As I write this I've only been awake for 3.5 hours.

2) I have a serious aversion to crying. I hate to cry. It makes me feel weak. I hate feeling weak. Hmm... maybe that's what my real problem is, feeling weak.

3) The day after I leave early/call out of work sick (whether it's a "mental health" day or not) I never wear eyeliner to work. Someone always says, "Wow, you look so sick!"... which is why I never leave the house without eyeliner, otherwise.

4) Whenever people ask me what's wrong and I start to tell them -- I always get the feeling like they don't really want to know but were just asking to be nice. So I stop talking and change the subject. (You'll notice it now).

5) I'm embarrassed to sing in the car when I'm driving alone. I feel like someone in the car next to me will notice and laugh at me -- either that or I check the back seat to make sure I don't have any stow-aways who are back there laughing at my horrible singing voice.

6) I always get really excited when we're about to go out and meet new lesbians. But I'm more often than not disappointed in the end.

Consider yourself tagged:

Katie
Rain
The Wishful Writer
Val
Co-Grumpy Granny

R.I.P. Uncle Paul

It was way too soon.

I just want RIP it off!

....my nose, that is.

Gawd, I hate being sick! I don't have time for this b.s.!

I sat here in a fog for about 10 minutes just staring at the screen thinking what the heck I should even blog about... because I couldn't remember jack squat.

Then I remembered.

So here ya go.

Yesterday I left work about 1:00 and went home and fell asleep for... oh, I don't know 3 hours? Jess came home early too. She made me some soup which I had when I got up (thx squish).

Not like I could taste anything....

Later on we drove up to Mt. Vernon to see my aunt and my uncle.

It was really good to see them... even though the circumstances suck.

Speaking of the "circumstances".... they have removed all IVs from my uncle. We're all pretty much just waiting for the inevitable.

I really, really don't want my phone to ring.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

We got home from Mt. Vernon about midnight and I took some Nyquil and crashed.

This morning when I woke up I knew I couldn't get up. So I decided I would go in late.

Which is when I realized that if I don't do my usual morning routine.... our house? Falls to sh!t.

I was half awake while I listened to the arguing, the b!tching, the Jeremie not getting up and leaving on time, the dog whining...etc...

But me? I couldn't move.

I just lay there nearly catatonic wishing the noise away.

My "duties" in the morning usually are:

• Get up (that's the toughest one)
• Wake up Jeremie
• Put the dogs out
• Put out their food
• Bring the dogs in
• Wake up Jeremie
• Go to the bathroom
• Pick up their food
• Put them back out again
• Wake up Jeremie
• Bring them back in
• Yell at Jeremie that this is now the 4th time I'm waking him up
• Take a shower
• Start the car
• Put my face on
• Do my hair
• Collect my belongings
• Make my coffee to go
• Yell at Jeremie that now I'm leaving him because he isn't ready
• Get in the car and wait for him
• Drop him off at school
• Go to work

So, apparently when I don't do any of that, pandemonium ensues.

Sheesh.

Anyway -- so after Jess left, I laid there for a few minutes. Did my daily training on Brain Age :) And got ready for work.

...and got here about 9:45.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

Speaking of the dogs, Eva asked the other day -- they're good. Willow is still not housebroken. Crate trained, yes... housebroken, no...

We're still not entirely sure how to get her to not go in the house.

We posted a WANTED ad on freecycle for a baby gate -- we think that may be a good first step.

If we can leave her loose in the house even it's just a section, I think it'd be good for associating it like she does the crate.

We'll see.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

I'd kill for some Mucinex right now.

.......

....I've lost my train of thought.

So I'm ending this now.

xoxo

Sheesh, I'm still talkin' about the weekend??

Anyway -- long story short, the birthday thing didn't work out so well this year.

Sunday we took Kristie to the walk-in -- she has strep throat.

Afterwards we went to the Olive Garden -- the 4 of us -- where after dinner they asked the waitress to sing me happy birthday and she didn't.

Why she didn't doesn't matter -- but it all just kinda reinforced how I already felt.

My birthday just wasn't a thing this year.

And that's fine.

That nite we bowled -- which I always enjoy, so there was that!

:)

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

As you can see, I changed the look of my blog today... I got sick of the old look -- you know how I do.

All of a sudden it looked to me like cotton candy threw up all over my blog.

I'm sure I won't stay with this look, but for the meantime, it's making me happy. :)

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

Don't tell anyone -- but I believe I'm sick.

I'm trying to ignore the pain in my back and shoulders, the progressively worse coughing fits, the throbbing in my brain and the drippy nose.

It's getting a little difficult though.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~

Yesterday I understood why some mailpeople "go postal".

Let me fill you in -- to submit one file to go out for p@tenting -- I have to do several things, create several forms, notify several agencies and/or law firms.

It takes all day generally.

Of those things my boss has only to do the application itself.

So I spent all day Monday putting together countless paperwork and submitting and sending out... blah, blah, blah. Literally took me from morning to evening to do.

Come to find out the next day that there was an error (possibly fatal) in the application.

Guess who got blamed for not checking it.

Of course me!

The one thing I didn't have a hand in in the whole process now is my problem too.

So sorry I took "the application is ready" to mean... oh, I don't know... the application was READY.

Man, you don't even know how rippin' pissed I was yesterday.

I'm over it now, though.

I'm way too tired/sore to care today.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

After work the 4 of us are supposed to be going up to Mt. Vernon to see my aunt who is up from Florida and my uncle who is up (over?) from Indiana.

I haven't seen them in ages.

I'm hoping I survive until then!

I'm contemplating leaving work early today.... but who knows.

Well, gotta take a nap get to work. Here's your Moment of Zen:

Birthday Weekend Recap - Part Deux: Saturday

Sorry, this got off to a late start. Chaos ensued when I got to work today -- and well, that's a whole other blog entry.

I forgot to mention the other day that on Thursday I found out that my ex's ex who she went back to being friends with after we broke up was in a REALLY bad car accident.

Apparently she was in a fender bender on the highway and when she got out of the car to inspect the damage another car came by and hit her.

She's in intensive care.

Skull fracture.

She'll live, but who knows what affect this'll all have on her.

Now, I've never liked this girl b/c when my ex and I first got together there were words and nearly --- ummm fists ----

But when I heard what happened to her I nearly burst into tears.

I must be getting old.

I just kept thinking how horrific to be hit by a car going by at that speed. How horrible to be the one to hit her. How horrible to be the one that she got into the fender bender with and who witnessed it.

How horrible for her family.

The whole thing's just.... well...horrible....

Anyway -- so back to the weekend.

Saturday I woke up with this really just sad, empty feeling inside.

I didn't shake it all day.

So I just sat in front of the computer all day playing games.

By the end of the day, Jess was sick of being home and hungry and my mood was starting to make me -- well, let's say, not so nice --

So Jess suggested we use the $50 gift certificate that my boss gave me for Xmas to California Pizza Kitchen in the Stamford mall.

It took some convincing on her part to get me to want to leave my cocoon of gloom. But finally I was wrenched from my computer chair and we were off to Stamford.

If you ever go to this place, you have to order their California Club "pizza" -- I use quotes b/c it's not really like a pizza but more like a weird open face sandwich.

We also tried their "famous" Chicken BBQ pizza. That was 'eh'.

Oh and their avocado egg rolls are to die for.

All through dinner I was only semi-myself.... teetering between vocal people-watcher and lost-in-my-own-head shut-in.

After dinner we just went home and went to bed.

Stay tuned for Part III

_________________________________________________________

Birthday weekend recap - Part I - Friday

There's nothing like seeing your uncle a shell of his old self and dying in a hospital bed to put a damper on your birthday spirits.

Jess and I drove up to Troy, NY on Friday to see him in the hospital. When we got there, no one was in the tiny little room with him.... and he was sleeping.

We sat down and soon after Jess nudged me and I turned and saw that he was awake.

His eyes were yellow.

His body thin.

His stomach bloated from the IVs.

I tried to think of something to say to him -- decided to take a humorous approach and told him that this was a really extreme way to get me to visit.

After a moment it registered and I got a laugh out of him.

...sigh...

So he told me that my dad and his girlfriend were in the family lounge.

So we left him to sleep and walked over to the family lounge which had been taken over by my father's side of the family.

...apparently we walked into a family meeting about hospice.

...sigh....

So we quietly piled into the room and listened while they discussed his last days and what would happen in what circumstance.

The fact that his Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) wishes have to be made known or else he will be.

...sigh...

My father wishes me happy birthday.

My cousin's (my uncle's kids) who's mom died 5 years ago of cancer look stunned.

Finally I got to meet his girlfriend (who I thought was his new wife).... she goes out to smoke with us and tells us how her older sister is gay and has been with her wife for 34 years.

She tells me how dysfunctional my family is.

Well, duh. :)

My father's side of the family is notoriously evil to "new wives" ESPECIALLY new wives who aren't actually wives and/or who enter the family under unusual circumstances.

For instance, my step-mother had a long time getting accepted after having stolen my father from my mother (can't say's that upsets me much)...

And now my Uncle Paul's girlfriend coming in so soon after my Aunt Lou's passing...

Just bring on the catty bullsh!t.

I say live and let live and mind your own damn beeswax.

Anyway -- after some time visiting with family, we all finally leave.

One more goodbye to my Uncle Paul.

I'm pretty sure this is the last time I will see him drawing breath.

Labored as it may be.

We got in the car, and drove back to Connecticut and straight to carmax to pick up the car which had the catalytic converter replaced.

They were really great about allowing me to take the loaner so far out of state.... though the loaner they gave me sucked a$$.

It was a 2004(?) Toyota Highlander. It had 88K miles (not that that part bothered me much), no cup holder, the windshield leaked (thankfully it didn't rain after the first day I had it), stained seats and there were mysterious puddles of water in the ashtray and center console.

Meanwhile I saw that before they gave it to me there was a sticker on it for $13K.

It did drive nice though.

Anyway, I tried to tell them what the issues where when I dropped it off but the business office couldn't have been less interested.

Whatever, my car rocks, so whatever....

We got back home -- got ready and headed over to the Brook in Westport to meet some friends for drinks and dancing.

In attendance were: Kat, Tina, Shannon, Kathy, Katie, Maureen and Barbara.

They even brought me presents. I got a $25 Home Depot gift card, a new laser mouse (which I really needed) and a new board game.... oh and a shot of tequila. ;)

The two different DJs must've said happy birthday to me about 10 different times.... then Jess brought out a cake to me and the whole lot sang happy birthday.

It was nice.

We left before closing and headed home to bed.

Which is when my morning finally registered and I started crying my eyes out.... while Jess tried to comfort me (thank you baby).

...and that is how we fell asleep.

Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow.

_________________________________________________________

No Muong -- In stores now!

So because I can't seem to get enough of The Wishful Writer these days.... she posted this game: Create Your Own Album Cover.

The rules were:

Go to……

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/

The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result as a comment in this post.

This is what I got.

(having trouble seeing it all? click on the image)

...I sh!t you not.

Go to it.

_________________________________________________________

Celebrating birth while watching death....

As you know (being as I'm totally vocal about it)... tomorrow is my birthday.

And I just got the day off.

Not to celebrate though.

I got it off because my dad called a little while ago and told me that my Uncle Paul is in the hospital.

And he's dying. Any minute now.

He has cirrhosis of the liver. Yep, a drinker.

His wife died about 5 years ago of cancer.

They have two kids in their very early 20s.

He remarried about 3 years ago.

And now his days here are nearing their end.

At least this time I found out about it BEFORE the person died.

That's new.

...sigh...

Not the MOST fun way to spend a birthday.

You know, my Moment of Zen

today seems not so funny anymore.

_________________________________________________________

I'm telling you this... I'm telling you that...

I'm curious if anyone else has this problem.

This seems to happen especially for AOL email addresses since you can't (or if you can now, most don't seem to know it) set your outgoing name on your email....

First off, there are a bunch of people in my address book that I don't know who the hell they are... all I know is that at one point their address was stored as an email address and the email address doesn't make it obvious who it is.

Most of the time that isn't a problem. If they are someone I talk to regularly, I memorize the email address.

But if it isn't... that's where we hit a sticking point.

Here's a for instance:

There's someone in my address book that's always sending me jokes.

No idea who it is.

I just delete most of whatever stuff I get from that email address.

Quite a while ago I replied to some joke or whatever and she responded to me like she knew me (I'm assuming it's a she)... I was hoping in that transaction I'd be able to figure out who she was.... but nope.

Anyway, the other day I got an email from this person obviously announcing a baby's birth.

It's a preemie.

There's a ton of pictures of her.

I want to say something -- congrats or whatever but I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS!

And I just responded to her not long ago acting like I DID know her! LOL

So now what??

Anyone ever have to deal with something like this before?

What'd ya do??

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

Well. Today's my last day smoking.

I debated not telling you that being as inevitably SOMEONE will catch me smoking and give me crap for it. lol

But -- I swore I'd not be smoking at 35 years old. (I also swore I'd never pay $4 for a pack of cigarettes ...sigh...).

Well, 35 will be arriving tomorrow morning at 4:09 a.m.

This is it.

If I haven't told you why 35 is my cut off it's because every commercial on the planet for any prescription drug says, "You shouldn't use ______________ .... especially if you're a smoker over 35."

Not sure what's so magical about the number 35 -- but apparently all hell breaks loose at that point.

And since I apparently cannot stop 35 from coming, it's the cigarettes that have to go.

I gotta say, I'm gonna miss 'em. I like to smoke.

What I don't like is the labored breathing, the expensive as hell cigarette prices or the feeling of being an addict when I get that "after dinner" urge, "while I'm driving" urge, "while I'm drinking coffee" urge, or "while I'm drinking" urge.

I am however, debating whether or not to smoke through tomorrow nite since we're going out drinking for my b-day.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle quitting in one of my MOST PRIME smoking modes.

But, I'll give it a whirl. :)

Wish me luck.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

Speaking of going out drinking -- that's what we're doing tomorrow nite. We're going to the gay bar in Westport.... The Cedar Brook Cafe.

So if you're lookin' for me... that's where I'll be. :D

Saturday is lunch with my mom and sisters at IHOP.

I can't.......... tell.......... you........... how............. excited............... I................ am........... (not).

But, whatever, at least she remembered it was my birthday.

That's more than I can say for my father.

SO there ya go. :P

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

Yesterday I was reading this blog entry from a contributor on The Lesbian Lifestyle. She doesn't seem to have a very good opinion of lesbians.... even though she is one.

Our comments got a wee bit heated there.... and I took a little poetic license in my responses (ie. "I am not one of those people of which you speak"....) LOL

That's right, I told a big fat little white lie.... what of it?

Well -- I'm outta sh!t to talk about... so...

Here's your Moment of Zen:

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE

(thanks baby for sharing!)

_________________________________________________________

Ouchies.

Our company volleyball league started yesterday.

Can I just say.... OUCH!?

I haven't even recovered from bowling yet (it really works my back and shoulders) and now the rest of me has joined in on the party.

We played two teams -- 3 games each.

The first 3 games we sucked some major a$$. We were a team of 6. They a team of 4. We got spanked.

Hard.

And not in the good way.

The second 3 games we played a different team which started out at 4 people but then had 5. We won all 3 games but not by a whole lot.

Anyway, I'm pretty happy that I'm doing stuff that's moving this body o'mine.

It needs to move.

And now that I'm hitting the 35-mark in a couple of days.... well, it's all downhill from here. lol

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

I did miss playing volleyball... I wonder if any of you local folks would be interested in attempting to put together another beach volleyball team in Stratford this summer...

Hmm --

It's a thought anyway.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

Wouldn't you know it that just as soon as I start watching my carb intake that I get this?

...sigh...


If you insist. ;)

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

Today we have to take the Buick in. Apparently the catalytic converter needs to be changed. God I love warranties. Actually, this isn't even under the warranty, it's still under the CT 60-day rule when buying a new/used vehicle.

They are giving me a loaner car.

I hope it's a Mercedes!

::::dare to dream::::

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

In the good news department, my boss' boss cancelled all her meetings this week and apparently won't be in all week (hope it's nothing serious)... AND my boss will be out on Friday (what an awesome b-day present) and is on a business trip all week next week.

SCORE!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Nappy nappy-time.

Ok, maybe not but at least the annoyances won't be happening. :D

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

::::mush moment::::

You know, Jess and I have been together for, almost 3 years now... (yes, yes, "officially" it's less).... anyway...

Unlike any other relationship I've had before, I really feel like we are getting stronger with every passing day.

Everything is still there bigger and better than ever.

It still amazes me.

I really never thought that was possible.

Now when people tell me how their partners constantly makes them feel worthless or alone or unloved I can see my old relationship in them.

I just want to shake them and say, "It's not supposed to be that way! Get out! Get out now!" But they have to come to that place on their own. Like I did.

Don't get me wrong -- we both do stuff that annoys the crapola out of each other -- but it all comes together regardless.

I can't get over how sweet she is and how she's always saying and doing things that just melts me.

For instance, I'll kiss her goodbye while she's sleeping and she'll smile and say "You're beautiful" without even opening her eyes.

If she only knew the Chester Cheetah smile she puts on my face when she does that.

Anyway -- I totally love my papa bear.

I just had to say that.

::::end mush moment::::

OK! Well then -- ehem -- I gotta go do some work (ie. decide which Cold Stone Creamery creation I want to sink my spoon into...)

Here's your Moment of Zen:





_________________________________________________________

Now... where were we...?

Hi.

Did I mention that Kristie got a new car? Yep. We were back at carmax in less than 3 weeks. Unbelievable.

All because that stupid KIA couldn't hold out one more month.

Anyway, she got a REALLY good deal on a Saab 93. It's very cute and VERY hooked up.

74K miles but every bell and whistle you can think of from a sunroof, heated seats, power everything, heated mirrors, onstar (not that she's gonna pay the subscription), oh the list just goes on and on. PLUS an extended warranty. ;)

This is what it looks like (not the actual car):

Here's a pic of her when she first got it...

She look happy? Shyeah, believe me, she is... she took that free tank of gas that carmax gives you and went all over creation in that car. lol

What's great is that it's cheaper to insure than the KIA. And the car payments really were reasonable.

So finally we all fit into the Fairfield scene, Jess with her Mazda6, me with my Buick Rendezvous and Kristie with her Snob 93. lol

Thankfully the car shopping is done for a while.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

We've decided to donate the KIA to charity.

It wasn't going to get much from a buyer anyway and now with a bad transmission I can't even use it as a paperweight.

So we contacted kars4kids.org and they are supposedly going to contact me today about towing that nightmare away.

One nice perk is that they give you a free 2 night hotel stay for your donation, so that'll be nice. :)

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

You know, evvvvvvvvvvvvvery now and then pleasant surprises come my way.

This weekend I got a check in the mail from the child support folks from Tony.

How he had money to send while he is in jail, I'll never know. Maybe it's residuals from being someone's b!tch.

Or maybe it's a part of his bond money -- I'd heard once that if they pay a bond and owe child support, us bankrupt moms get some.

Pathetic, isn't it? They can pay to get out of jail but not for their own kids?

Whatever, it was nice to get some unexpected cash.

So, what we've decided to do with it is save it towards a big screen TV.

I've wanted one for AGES now... so with this check, we're about half way there. I can't WAIT! Woot! Woot!

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

When Kristie went on that photo shoot the fashion designer who gave her that dress told me she wanted me to do some work with her (you know, big girls wear clothes too).

So I was like sure, whatever... never really expecting to get a call.

This weekend she called and said she wanted me and Kristie to come in and take some pictures/video for her website.

Ack! So Kristie was all for it... so we said what the heck and went.

Luckily it was all silhouettes.... whew!

Man are artsy fartsy folks weird. LOL

This woman is chubby and about hmmmmm 5 foot 2 and wears these HORRIBLE wigs and her favorite line is "My husband is a model."

Ummm ok -- lol

Now ask me if I care.

Oh but she makes sure she says it every time we speak! lol

Anyway --- it was an experience, I'll say that!

If we find out that the pictures are posted (not that you'll be able to tell which is me) I'll let ya know. :P

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

So our friend Angie B gave us tickets to go see a taping of The View on the 29th. WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!

I just requested it off. :)

You KNOW that's gonna be a blog entry... ;)

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

Good luck to Katie who starts her new job today!

Alright, I've got stuff to do, so have a good day folkz.

And now... your Moment of Zen:

Thanks baby for sharing! ;)



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Dear Tina,

Totally ripped off from The Wishful Writer.

What would you say if you wrote a letter to your 13-year-old self?

This is what I would say:

Dear Tina,

First and foremost. Go directly to your room and change your clothes. I will say this once and never again. Neon pink DOES NOT GO (with anything) -- but ESPECIALLY not red pleather pants.

I'll wait.

Second -- even though Mom is really old school and it's hard to get her to buy you ANYTHING that is not a life need, go ahead and spend your money on lacey fingerless gloves and scarves for your head, and jelly bracelets and ear piercings and whatever.

What the heck, live it up.

I have to warn you though. Try to avoid getting your picture taken.

I'm still trying to live down some seriously painful Madonna moments.

::::shudder:::::

Anyway, pretty soon you are going to meet Ray. You are going to "date" him and he's going to get you pregnant. But you won't find out that you are pregnant until two days after you find out that he's been cheating on you with two other girls. (Ditto Tony in 5-6 years).

One's name is Marilyn in the grade ahead of you.

The other is Terry in the grade below you.

Do what you will with that information.

Oh and when you get pregnant again at 20 (apparently we're pretty fertile!) you are going to use the excuse that you are "eating for two" WAY too literally. You will actually be eating for 22.
DON'T DO IT!!

We WILL regret it. Yes, that means that we're fat now.

Next, you will see an attached sheet of paper with dates and a bunch of numbers.

Those are the winning lottery numbers for the next 22 years. Save 'em. Make many copies.

Also, at some point in your life you are going to become an education junkie.

Two words of advice:

1) While you don't mind cleaning the elderly's rear-ends, you will end up hating being a nurse's aid.
2) When you decided to become a paralegal instead you won't realize at the time that working for lawyers is worse than cleaning the elderly's rear-ends.

Go to school for something more exciting and creative.

...or marry rich.

Speaking of marriage.

Your husband's going to be a woman.

No, I sh!t you not.

Seriously.

All of a sudden those naked body "bumping" contests with your female friends in the basement will make a whole lotta sense.

And no, mom is not going to understand.

Ever.

Speaking of parents, dad is never going to "come around" and start being a real father to you. When he divorced mom, he divorced you too.

Start resenting him now.

I know what you're thinking... who is this old b!tch who thinks she knows everything?

It's me. You. And yes, I do know everything. Just like you do.

Now if I can just work this space/time continuum, I will write again.

The pissed off older version,
Tina

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Hi there Murphy! Nice law you have here.

So, in the "yeah, we shoulda figured" category...

Kristie's transmission went completely kaput yesterday.

All that d@mn car had to do was last one more month until she had a better downpayment... but no.... Murphy wouldn't have that.

So we are going down today and look at this car.

I am going to co-sign (hope that doesn't damage things too badly!) - does anyone know if both of our names are going to be on the registration?

I can't remember what we did with the Buick and it's in the shop now getting a car starter put in so I can't even look at our registration papers.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

I'm considering joining my company's volleyball team.

I like to play volleyball. :)

It's only one nite a week.........

Hmm.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~

Ever been on one of them murder mystery dinners or cruises?

Am I really cheezy for wanting to do one?? LOL

Probably.

Ugh -- my desk (which was clean for all of 18 seconds yesterday) is overflowing.

Gotta fly.


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...because I haven't ranted all year.

Wanna know yet another thing that pisses me off?

Hypocritical a$$holes who don't know how to talk to people.

Follow me down the following email trail...

Setup: I received an email from the person that does the newsletter for the LGBT center that I volunteer for asking for an update of the books that our book group are going to read so she can put it in our newsletter.

I sent her this:

Like to read? Like to socialize? Like women?? Then do we have the group for you! Join the Lesbian Book Club! We meet every third Wednesday of the month at the T******e C*******y Center at 7:30 pm. Come meet a great bunch of women who talk about the book as well as other idle chatter! Join our Yahoo Group for more info, book schedules and announcements: or email me at

Upcoming books:

February: Faultline by Arden Benbow

March: Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey into Manhood and Back by Norah Vincent

Pretty informative, right?

I get this email back:

Ahem, dates and times PLEASE!!!!!!

o.....k.......... I thought I..... ok, so I write this back....

Ehem, it's IN there! "Every third Wednesday of the month at 7:30pm!"
Keep up woman! lol

Note the "lol" (aka Laugh Out Loud)

To which she responds:

EHEM, we had this discussion last time: please help me out and let
me know what is the date of the 3rd Wednesdays. I know it sounds like a petty thing to you, but when you are coordinating 2 months worth of events, it’s nice to be able to save a couple of steps if everyone will be considerate enough to provide COMPLETE INFORMATION!!! The format we use in the newsletter contains day, date and time, so people don’t have to stop and look up: what the hell is the 3rd Wednesday this month... But if it’s that big a deal for you........

:::double take::::

Oh hell no.

My response?

Alrighty then. Not sure all the attitude was necessary when I was joking around with you... but HERE YA GO:

February 20th
March 19th
April 16th
May 21st
June 18th
July 16th
August 20th
September 17th
October 15th
November 19th
December 17th

That oughta hold us til the end of the year in which time I will open 2009's calendar and count to 3.

"We had this discussion last time".... This from the woman who had to be told 48 times that me and the other woman "of color" on the board were not interchangeable.

~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~~

Wanna know something else that burns me?

Too bad, I'm telling ya anyway.

People who don't know the difference between sarcasm and obnoxiousness.

There.

Is.

A.

Difference.

I love sarcasm. I totally get it and it cracks me up. I'm frequently sarcastic and I appreciate a master of the art. But there are people out there who think that they are being sarcastic but are nothing of the sort. They are just obnoxious.

Plain and irritatingly simple.

Or -- they don't know when to quit. If every word that comes out of your mouth to me is sarcasm -- you can count on the fact that I will minimize our interactions before long.


Sarcasm is like a jab at someone. Jokingly, yes... but repeated "for fun" jabs start to cause a sore spot.


You CAN have too much of a good thing. Try mixing it up a bit. Try, oh, I don't know, some kindness or funny (and NOT sarcastic funny) or just normal conversation for a while. See how that works out for ya.

Give the rest of us a break for a while.

Ok, I'm tired and crabby -- I should go before I say anything else.

Here's your Moment of Zen:

_________________________________________________________

Playing Catch-up

Hi!

I have a moment, so I am going to catch you up as much as possible.

• Kristie turned 19 on the 21st. We had ice cream cake for her that night. ...sigh... 19.
• Xmas Eve I went to my grandparent's house as is the usual and my sister acted like nothing happened. I got my usual sweater from my mom -- though, this year's wasn't a bad choice like usual. ;)
• My grandparents are getting so frail now. It's really quite sad to watch.
• Xmas morning we all tore through our presents. Jess' main present being a "flaming" bowling ball and flaming bag for her to use with our new league. The kids seemed to enjoy their presents pretty well... they, of course, made out like bandits once again.
• Two days after Xmas, Willow got spayed. Poor little booger.
• Speaking of Willow -- I'm very much looking forward to when she's more like Mickey in that she can be around the house without worry about her going to the bathroom and where she waits in the morning for us to feed her. I'm so tired. :P
• The day after Willow got spayed, Kristie had surgery to get that lump removed. This is her all knocked out in the recovery room:

• My ex and I got into a big argument at the hospital about Jeremie and I put the b!tch in her place.
• Jeremie is in looooooooooooooooooooooooove. It's really cute.
• Kristie got back a draft of one of the posters she's going to be on from that photo shoot. This is it - check out my baby on the left!

• We had our new years party which I thought was a lot of fun. Of COURSE we bought too much dang food -- for a change. But it was a lot of fun. :)~ Only a few no-shows.
• Jess and I hit our one year wedding anniversary (happy anniversary baby!)
• CarMax contacted me because they saw that I blogged about them and sent me a free doo-dad! (a tire gauge)
• Kristie's car (aka my old car) is threatening suicide. So it's looking like we're going to visit CarMax for her sooner than we thought.
• Work has been a nightmare since I returned. I haven't had time to breathe.
• Our new bowling league started yesterday. I bowled ok. But I'm sore as hell! But everyone seemed to have a great time... I'm happy about that.
• I saw this license plate at the bowling alley yesterday and it CRACKED me up!

• L Word returned last nite and I'm SO pissed at Shane!

Welp, that's the quick run-down... I gotta get to work -- lots of crap sitting on my desk.

Hasta lasagna! (Don't get any on'ya)

_________________________________________________________

Woah -- not one post in 2008!?

Wow... I haven't said sh!t to you folks since last year! Sheesh!

I have sooooooooooooooo much to post about I can't even keep them straight in my head... I did write them down though.

Anyway -- work's been INCREDIBLY busy the 3 days that I did work this past week so blogging wasn't even an option. Neither was lunch or leaving on time.

Welcome to Mother Hubbard's retirement.

Anyway -- I will find the time this week to blog about Xmas, vacation, New Years, and all the other stuff I did since December 21st some time this week.

Catch ya on the flip. :D


_________________________________________________________